“You do not know what you are asking.”

“Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came up to him with her sons, and kneeling before him she asked him for something. And he said to her, “What do you want?” She said to him, “Say that these two sons of mine are to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom.” Jesus answered, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink?” They said to him, “We are able.” (Matthew 20:20-23 ESV).

We are told in many places in Scripture that we are to make our request known to God, for example, “casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you,” or “Pray without ceasing,” and many other well-known exhortations from Scripture on the importance of praying to the Father of every good gift. Praying is just part of the new nature that God has given every believer; it's just something that we do, knowing that our Father in heaven hears our prayers. But sometimes I think we, like the mother of James and John, do not understand what we are asking.

Have you ever earnestly asked God for something and not gotten it? Have you prayed for someone or some situation and asked God to agree with “your” solution? Have you ever had a child ask you for something that seems innocent enough on the surface, but you know could have devastating long-term consequences? Have you ever wanted to tell that sweet, loving child, “You do not know what you are asking.” That is what we have here in this picture of a mother wanting what was best, at least in her eyes, for her two boys. She was only looking at the short-term; she had no way of knowing what cup Jesus or her sons would have to drink.’ She had no idea what was waiting for them right around the corner.

Back in 20:18-19, Jesus told His disciples, “See, we are going up to Jerusalem. And the Son of Man will be delivered over to the chief priests and scribes, and they will condemn him to death and deliver him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and flogged and crucified, and he will be raised on the third day.” One thing she and her sons needed to remember was their limited understanding of what they see, and their complete lack of understanding of what was to come.

As we mature in our faith, we learn to trust and have confidence in the timing of God’s answers to our prayers. Many times, in our walk with our Savior, we use prayer time as an opportunity to explain to God what He should do and when He should do it. I know some of you are saying, “I’d never be so bold as to tell God what to do.” Really? I’ve heard many prayers that are only monologues, where we go through a list of perceived “needs” of ours or others, and we leave little room or time to hear God, through the Holy Spirit, speak to us. The more I come to understand prayer, the more I’m convinced that prayer should be a dialogue between us and our creator.  It should be a time when we start our conversation with Him by recalling how good He is, how He has provided for our needs in the past, and to praise Him for His goodness, long-suffering, trustworthiness, and faithfulness.

After reminding ourselves of what God has already done for us, we should open our hearts to God, expressing what is causing us anxiety, our fears, and our needs; and that’s where we should leave our part of the discussion. We do not need to continue to tell God how to solve our problems and when to answer our prayers. The other part of our prayer dialogue is to be quiet and listen to Him. Let the Holy Spirit do His job to comfort us and bring to our minds the holiness and goodness of the Father.

Oh, yes, one other thing: we should, of course, end our part of the dialogue with “Never less Lord, not my will, but thine be done!” I think that is missing from most prayers that I give and hear from others. However, I don’t think there is anything more important to our prayers than inviting God’s solution and His timing into our lives.

Because we can’t see how our God has been working “behind the scenes” of our lives, we don’t know what solution He has been orchestrating for weeks, months, or years. He is putting the right people, the right circumstances, the right events at just the right time to answer the needs that we don’t even know that we have. We are looking straight ahead of us, God is looking ahead, behind, and to the sides of us, now and for years to come. We need to trust Him and His timing, not try to put His solutions into our frame of reference. We need to quit boxing in our God and His solutions. We need to remember what Pastor Chuck Swindoll said, “God is God and I am not!”

Remember, just like the mother of James and John, many times ‘We do not know what we are asking!’ We need to trust in our God and let Him provide the correct solution to our prayers. Have that prayer dialog and be sure to give God a chance to answer us with His solution in His time.

"Living in Grace is not about what I can do, but about what Jesus has already done!"