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Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32 ESV)

One of the most arduous tasks we face is forgiveness. We have all been in situations where we have been deeply hurt, deceived, or betrayed, yet we're called to forgive as Christ forgave us. It is a constant struggle, a battle we fight within ourselves, and often, we find ourselves overwhelmed by the lingering effects of these painful experiences that have reshaped us.

Often, family perpetrates this pain upon us. Their greed, self-righteousness, or depravity have caused the action that forever changes their relationship with us. I know of several times when a person who claimed to be a Christian caused the breakdown of the relationship.

Often, the wrongs of one person can shatter not just our relationship, but an entire family. Forgiveness is a daunting task. We may forgive the act, but the relationship remains strained, unchanged, and painful. Yet, in the midst of this pain, forgiveness has the power to transform, to heal, and to restore hope.

We have all heard the scripture, "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses". (Matthew 6:14-15 ESV). First, let us clarify something. Our relationship with Christ makes us righteous once we have received salvation through Christ and repented our sins. We admit we sinned and take responsibility for our actions, asking God for forgiveness. Signs of salvation are the conviction of our sins by the Spirit. If we ignored the convictions and went on sinning without a care, the indication is we were never truly saved.

Our forgiveness in our walk with Christ is based on our repentance. Through our conviction of sins, our repentance is that catalyst for our forgiveness by the Lord. If we went on sinning without true repentance, we would not be forgiven. This idea applies to our human relationships as well. We are called to be patient with the faults of others. However, Jesus told us, Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” (Luke 17:3-4 ESV). “If he repents,” forgive.

I am not saying we must wait for repentance to forgive. I have been wronged and have forgiven those who have wronged me or my family when there was no repentance because it was on my heart. The relationships are not the same, nor may they ever be, which, had there been repentance on the offender's part, may not have been the case. As Christians, I think many of us are inclined to forgive, especially when the actions against us have ceased.

We know that both Christ and Stephen asked for forgiveness for those who murdered them despite their lack of repentance. So, the example of forgiving despite repentance is also present in scripture. For instance, in the parable of the Prodigal Son, the father forgives his son who had squandered his inheritance. This story illustrates the unconditional forgiveness that God offers us and that we are called to emulate in our relationships.

The unrepentant person does not care for the Lord or how they have wronged others. There is no ownership or taking responsibility for their actions. This is simply evil. This is not just for serial killers or the likes of these crimes, I speak; it is the liar, the thief, or the abuser, even in our own family. Repentance is a recognition of our sins, our flaws, and our failures. To not repent is to not ask for forgiveness, is it not?

Repent your sins and ask your brother or sister for forgiveness. It is a true sign of self-awareness and love. Repentance is not just about acknowledging our wrong doings, but also about making a conscious effort to change our ways, which is a crucial step towards forgiveness and restoration.